Wednesday, December 2, 2009

A man is only as faithful as his options

A friend said this to me. She said that it wasn’t original and that she had no idea who said it first but that the person was right. At the time we were talking about Alicia Keys and the drama behind her relationship with Swizz Beatz. My friend’s point was that Swizz Beatz may have been perfectly happy with his wife Mashonda until the option to date Alicia Keys fell into his lap. At which point it was bye bye Mashonda and hello Alicia.

The drama apparently came to a head because of Twitter. Alicia Keys twitted, “I don’t pretend 2 no wht luv is 4 every1, I can tell u wht it is for me”, which triggered an outpouring of venom from Mrs. Swizz Beatz who thought that it was in poor taste for Alicia to be tweeting about love when she was nothing but a home wrecker. Mashonada’s tirade went on and on. Girlfriend had a lot to get off her chest.

But thereafter the drama seems to have cooled. Mashonda had her say and then moved on to raising her children with the dignity she claimed to have. Alicia has been busy performing with Jay-Z. Everyone has gone back to behaving civilized. Time will tell if Alicia and Swizz Beatz will work out. Or if he will leave her for Lady Gaga or some other performer with more talent. Right about now, Tiger Woods would probably pay any amount of money to have his situation be so easily resolved.

Every so often the American public becomes fascinated with the destruction of a life. We pull up seats and take in the spectacle. For a while there it was Jon and Kate Gosselin who clearly got more than they had bargained for when they pimped out their children for fame and money. The latest spectacle is Tiger Woods and his apparent mistresses. Each day a new mistress emerges. This story will not die any time soon.

When black celebrities face scandals, it is not uncommon for them to retreat to the loving and forgiving embrace of the black community. For example, even though Michael Jackson looked more and more like a white woman as he aged, when he got accused of molesting young boys, he quickly remembered that he was a black man. And sure enough there were the expected representatives of black voices coming to his defense. Al Sharpton attended every day of the trial. Jesse Jackson made clear his support. Michael was a brother and black folk were not going to turn their back on him even though he had acted the fool.

Tiger will enjoy no such embrace. And this is because despite the blackness of his skin, and despite the fact that it was to his African-American father that he owes his very ability to play his sport, Tiger has for all of his career gone to lengths to make it clear that he does not consider himself a black man. Is the Asian community going to come to his defense? I don’t think so. Will the white community? The European? Or is Tiger all on his own? Time will tell.

In the meantime, his personal unraveling has become a good lesson for sports men everywhere. I hope that some of our tennis stars have sat up and taken notice. This could so easily, so frighteningly, be their story.

There are many lessons to be learned from the Tiger scandal. For a start, one lesson seems to be that whores will sell you out for a quick buck and 15 minutes of fame, so if you’re going to sleep around, make sure and pay your whores so well that no amount of money from US Weekly will tempt them.

Another lesson seems to be that if you’re gonna cheat, don’t be cheap. Spend the money to get private cell phones that your wife doesn’t know that you have. Or let your bodyguards run interference for you so that no whore can ever contact you directly.

But of course the best lesson is quite simply not to cheat on your wife. And that if you are not ready for marriage or not mature enough to embrace the emotional obligations of family -- if in other words you still want to be a player -- then for goodness sakes don’t get married. Put it off until you’re good and ready. No one will  fault you for this. Sleep with as many whores as you need to in the interim, but the minute you elect to marry and bring children into the world, it’s time to fricking grow up. I hope that some professional tennis players are taking note.


Karen said...

The Caublanasian community will stand by him. After all that is what he said his race is. I have to confess that I find this whole spectacle quite disappointing. Not because I am a fan of his or anything, but the fact that this is like a very bad traffic accident and everyone is just stopping to stare. In addition, I have to give my props to my girl Elin. You go girl. I think this girl must have some Jamaican in her because that is what we Jamaican women do. We beat the shite out of the men, call up the women and tell them a piece of our minds and if we ever catch you, Lord help you.

Karen said...

Someone just sent me an email which is apparently making the rounds showing the Tiger Family Christmas card. It shows Elin with a golf club in her hand looking as beautiful as ever and Tiger with his face all beaten up, teeth missing and stitches on the scars trying to smile. Hilarious

debbie said...

Tennis Chick,
Once again I agree with you. I couldn't have said it any better or clearer. I'm the "anonymous" that wrote a comment about "your new year wish for Rafa", which was uplifitng to me.

happygeek said...

when I first saw the news story, I chuckled because I felt an article was coming right up! lol @ "don’t be cheap. Spend the money to get private cell". although I think he doesn't have to account to the public for whatever he's done, he's going to be hounded like anything now.

tennischick said...

thank you all. my favorite is the musical remix using his cell phone call. in case you missed it:

lol! poor Caublanasian fool.

Anonymous said...

I agree, I don't understand why the guy got married. Screw as many women as you want, but why marry one if you're going to do that? I don't get it.

tennischick said...

image is everything, remember? i suspect that being married to a blonde woman with two cute children was part of the public image that sold a lot of Gillette, Nike, and Tag Heuer products. An unmarried player who sleeps with a truckful of bimbos would not have sold as well.

thanks for visiting my site and for your comment. :-)

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