Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Does James Blake Wear Spanx??

The guy has a huge ass. And I mean HUGE. I've always wondered if he contains it with Spanx. I won't be surprised.

Women always assume that we are the only ones with body image issues and that the whole business of girdle-wearing is limited to us. What is the cummerbund but a male version of the girdle? Men too want to suck it in and prevent the jiggle. Evan McGregor, Daniel Craig [James Bond], and David Beckham are all supposed to be aficionados of the aussieBum brand of underwear which boasts of its ability to lift and enhance the family jewel area.

But what about men with huge asses that they have to tote around while playing sports? Like James Blake? I mean it's not like he's a golfer where the heft of the ass might not interfere with his movement as such. But in sports like tennis and cricket where swiftness of feet truly matters, surely it makes sense to contain that heft with some male version of Spanx?

I almost understood when James cut off his dread locks and went bald. OK so he lost half of his cuteness, but I assumed that it was worth the advantage of lessened wind resistance and improved aerodynamic flow.

So surely it must also have occurred to him to find a way to contain that ass? I look at him while he is playing and I have to admit that the boy is swift of feet. In fact he's gotten speedier and speedier. I don't think he can credit that with losing dreadlocks alone. I suspect Spanx. Maybe ones redesigned to look like jockey shorts. Or maybe skin-colored Spanx with a pair of visibly white jockey-shorts over them, so that we are none the wiser. Feminine tricks.

Anyone has a locker room pass to lend me? I'd really like to check this out myself.


Tomiko said...

u know what? james blake is overrated. he's not as sexy as they say he is and he's not as good a tennis player i don't think, either. not that i really know what im talking about regarding the latter, but i just dont think he's that hot. that ass well juicy, but i personally dont want to take a bite. LOL

zwena said...

i'm a complete dummy when it comes to tennis, but this is hilarious! thanks for sending me the link to your blog!

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