I was not surprised by the news that Victoria Azarenka is pregnant. Somehow this fit right in with my impression of a woman who was just too dickmatized for her own good, ya know? Of which pregnancy is (or seems to be) the natural result, no?
You ask how did I arrive at my impression that Azarenka was the type of woman to end up pregnant for a rando that barely anyone knew she was dating? Well, it might have something to do with her decision to date that over-aged and under-talented clown who still calls himself Redfoo – during which period she seemed to morph herself into looking like a cast-member of ‘Love and Hip-hop’.
And then there was her cringingly terrible decision to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to her “good friend” Monfils at the 2014 US Open, even though she cannot carry a tune to save her life. Not to mention her sad Twitter-flirting with Nick Kyrgios that seriously bordered on the desperate. Just to name a few of the occasions when her decision-making seemed to come straight from her vagina.