Thursday, January 2, 2014

So Ryan Sweeting got married

To Kaley Cuoco. The 'Big Bang' chick. The one who secretly dated a co-star for two whole years.  And who then, in July 2013, became publicly and obnoxiously paired with Henry Cavill, aka the man who would be Superman. Their relationship reportedly lasted all of 10 days – or the length of a couple of embarrassingly over-the-top publicized trips to Starbucks. A pappy-show, as they say in the Caribbean. As in, entirely for the paparazzi, or for public display.

This is the woman to whom my Caribbean sweetie is now married. It’s a New Year and I want to be positive, so I hope that they are truly happy. But don’t blame me for watching her cokey-eyed (aka, askance).

Laineygossip.com speculated that Kuoco and Cavill were never really together, that his handlers might have wanted him to be paired up with someone other than his girlfriend, Gina Carano. After all, his studio had a big franchise to promote and said brunette perhaps didn’t fit the bill. Never mind the fact that Ms. Carano is a world-ranked professional kick-boxer and one of the stars of the ‘Fast and Furious’ franchise. Maybe they feared that she might be able to kick Superman's ass? I don’t know. All I know is that in came Ms. Cuoco, very, very quickly and very, very publicly. And then, 10 days later, out she went, like someone bolting through a revolving door.


And this is the woman with whom my Caribbean sweetheart has pledged for better or worse. It’s a New Year and I want to be positive, so I hope that they are truly happy. But don’t blame me for thinking that this makes him look like a complete ass.

Laineygossip.com was also one of the first sites to point out that the studio behind Superman is the same as the one behind ‘The Big Bang Theory’ – the latter being an offensive TV show in which all of the men are portrayed as highly intelligent scientists, while the only woman (Kuoco) is literally a dumb blond, her boobs permanently on display. It is a huge hit in this country, needless to say.

 Apparently Cavill has since grown a pair and he and Carano have been spotted back together. Which is where Ryan Sweeting came in. Within weeks of ending her reportedly faux-affaire with Superman, Cuoco had hooked up with Sweeting. Within three months they were engaged. She has since become his wife, in a Pepto-Bismol-colored wedding dress. All of this with a frightening rapidity that seemed to have less to do with love and a whole lot more to do with desperation.

Why do I care about any of this? Because I have long had a fondness for Ryan Sweeting, a son of Caribbean soil. Born in the Bahamas, Sweeting was the US Open Junior champ in 2005, and won his only pro title in 2011 at the US Men’s Clay Court Championship in Houston. As a result, he made it to my Top Ten wishes for tennis achievement in 2012. Instead, Sweeting quickly sank down from a high of 64 in 2011, to his current rank of 667, and a permanent berth on the Challenger circuit.

And if all of that wasn’t sad enough, he has now hastily married a woman who claims to be only two years older than he but who honestly looks ten years older on a good day. Yes I am being unkind but I have always wanted more for Ryan. But perhaps this is all that he wants for himself – to become part of the Hollywood fame-whore circuit. To me, his speedy nuptial seems like the unthinking choice of a young man dazzled by the kind of bright lights that do not exist in his native Nassau.

But maybe I’m wrong. Here’s Cuoco, commenting on their pre-divorce – oops! I meant to say relationship: “From day one I just knew immediately and it’s been magic. We grew up with the same people, we just never met. So I kind of feel that I’ve known him my whole life. I know that it seems a little crazy on paper, but it’s what works for us.” Alrighty then.

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